wish daddy loved me :(

God blessed me with a father who doesn't give a shit about me.
But it's sad he denied his own child when the nigga looks just like me!
And though my step dad has always been there, to call him father I'd be lying.
Because the one whose really my father needed reminding, or help finding...me.
But I'm not hiding!
i've left my number and a picture of my face, just in case you ever decide to come this way.
All I'm asking for is a few minutes, not a week , just a day.
Just explain why you left when you found out I was on the way!?
Your name doesn't remain on my birth certificate and you're clueless of my age.
You took the life of my twin and almost mine because you were enraged!
now that's a life you'll never see, so at least spend time with me.
at least take time to see the human being that you created.
You and my mother, you only dated.
But that doesn't give you the right to just bounce!
unannounced.
6 years in prison but you promised you'd come see me when you got out....
it's been like 7 years or more by now...
the child support never came, birthdays past and christmas came.
I sat ALL DAY by the phone....and that shit never even ranged.
But now I'm older, and surprisingly I thank you.
Because the father of my children won't be a DAMN thing like you -__-
lit shit

I fell in love

A warm day in May love came.
Speaking to me in a language much more than slang.
I wouldn't have known it was coming even if i was warned before it came.
I wouldn't have expected this sunshine after enduring all that rain.
Swept me off my feet with simple lyrics to a beat.
Moving my heart faster than I could move my feet.
and its his words that made me fall in love

you should be a model because you're such a good poser.
He told her, mind drifting back to the memories of the old her.
but all she wants is to feel him hold her.
Or at least someone to make her mind not wonder.
What he's doing, or who he's with, is he with another chick.
& though she has no right to even know this shit.
Her heart and emotions just cant let go of it.
and its his words that broke her heart.

Growing apart as love turns to pain.
Turning each other insane cuz she gave brain.
And it wasn't to the college she was attending in the fall.
He looked at her with disgust, mad he had given his all.
But she didn't believe he really cared like he said.
He would just laugh at the tears she would shed.
But he doesn't know he created this emotional dame.
He doesn't know that the distance is to blame.
that it was his words that made her do those things

Daddy never loved me

How much more can you take until your only choice is to break,down this hole you decline watching your mistakes wave hi.
Even high, the pain don't subside and the memories still remain.
Peace of mind i try to retain questioning if im still sane.
The thought in my head dont seem to be.
Yet God continues his mercy on me.
Is this really the person i was born to be.
 All this stuff was it meant for me to see?
 Questioning my dreams because their too realistic.
Taking things for granted and then you miss it.
The only way ill miss you is if they push my hand before i pull the trigger.
You have a grown ass daughter and you've never even kissed her.
Maybe twice you've even seen her.
But its okay. The man i make the father of mine won't be the same :)

If only guys knew...

Its a waste of time giving your heart away to guys cuz they don't know what to do with it?
 Instead of asking they break,mistreat and abuse it.
Then look at you funny when your guard is up and you sterotype him with the nigga coming up.
 All the same,wheather race or complection.
My friends tell me I just search in the wrong direction.
There's no stronger love than a mother's and no stronger pain than a heartbreak.
 Each time i follow the same path and accept the same fate.
My friends all laugh cuz they went the other way.
 But i tried to be different, the one that stood out, but now doubt has won.
The game of love; im out.

Search for Love

Love?
Now that, thats something powerful.
Helping you through each obstacle when all options seem impossible.
The signifcant other, when your together you're unstoppable.
I hope to feel that one day.
Instead of pain from giving my heart away.
But im still young and so is the day.
So until i find "you" this is what i have to say

Regret

You confided in me.
 Told me secrets through poetry.
All the extended hurt I didnt see.
No longer seperate,but a part of me.
Time passed and of course things change.
My feelings no longer are the same.
I think whats causing me the most pain is realizing im the one who made it this way  .

in the still of the night

 in the still of the night is where i await.
alone with you is where i am safe.
exposing our hearts in words alone.
expressing things i've never known.
i'm myself yet you are I.
you are the sun that lights my sky.
you see right through mr, though my walls stand tall.
your heart is my music;lyrics,beat,all
we create a melody noone can mimic
our love is a video as a still image.
in the still of the night you're who i embrace
your fingers tracing every curve of my shape
your lips erasing every worry of my mind.
wispering word so sweet and kind.
our hearts beating to the same rythm.
people speak, but i don't hear them.
with you everything's alright.
alone, in the still of the night...